Borghy's Top Ten for Bunia

Top Ten for Bunia

10. My morning cocktail: a shot of Pepto-Bismol and a malaria pill
9. The kids telling Sean that he’s pregnant
8. The kids asking why Dustin’s legs and arms are so hairy
7. Driving in Bunia: no need to go on a roller coaster at Disney World, just ride with a Congolese driver; you don’t even have to wait for pedestrians to move. Getting thrown around on the craterous dirt roads is especially enjoyable in the sticky heat of midday after eating three plates of food for lunch so as not to insult your hostess.
6. The spandex-esque toilet paper here: non-absorbent, scratchy and refuses to flush down the toilets, but hey, it’s practically indestructible—an important quality when you’re suffering from traveler’s “issues.”
5. Lack of luggage etiquette on my part: I couldn’t understand why this nice Congolese Bible translator wouldn’t let go of my bag as we were leaving. Surely he wasn’t coveting my dainty, female-sized, turquoise backpack. After trying unsuccessfully to get my bag from him about three times, he graciously informed me that their custom is to carry a visitor’s bag to the gate. Aha!
4. Me questioning Rev. Mbanza about the picture on his desk: “Is that your wife?”
Nope. Not even close. It’s a picture of Rev. Mbanza two decades ago. Did I mention I have excellent cross-cultural communication skills?
3. People who keep thinking Jon is sick because, “you look so pale." Well thank you for your concern, Madam, but paleness is an important part of my whole “white guy” persona, just comes standard with being, uh, you know, white.
2. Being informed that English is “the language of the deaf.”
1. Sean explaining to the kids that the stubble on his shaved head is like Velcro, but they don’t know what Velcro is. I demonstrate by trying to see if the Velcro on my camera bag sticks to his head. It doesn’t.

- Borghy